Disgraceful: Hearse Workers Make Pitstop At Speedway

A hearse that once carried the bodies of firemen, police officers, military veterans, and really nice old ladies was seen making, what could have been, an unscheduled pitstop. The two hearse workers were seen walking into the Speedway in Park Layne while the hearse remained parked at the pump as it filled up unattended.

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“They went up to the roller grill and one of them acted annoyed that there weren’t any cheeseburger hotdogs left. The other bought Cheetos and lottery tickets. I wanted to slap them,” said Cody Smiffington of Lake Ave. “You just shouldn’t do that when you have a hearse. I know a dozen people that have died and at least two were transported in a hearse.”

The race of the workers has yet to be identified but we will update this post and attempt to pin the blame on their entire race for these actions as soon as it becomes available.