If you blinked then you would have missed it.
Reports are streaming in of a school bus
that was clocked at speeds in excess of 90 mph on Lake Ave Tuesday morning. If the reports are accurate, the bus was carrying over 200 students with many sitting on the floor.
“I wouldn’t believe it if I didn’t clock the speed with my own eyes.”, said Russell Thief of Flora Dr. “That bus was moving like a bat out of hell, only this bat consumed an entire tank of NOS.”
Due to multiple complaints regarding street bikes, the city will purchase NOS kits for its rapidly deteriorating fleet of police vehicles. “We’ve tried and tried to catch them but they’re just too darn fast. This is our last option,” said a city official that asked to go unnamed. “We have a chance with NOS. Without it, forget about it.”
The news comes as a surprise since NOS is currently banned according to ordinances. It will be interesting to see if the street bike crew implements NOS usage on their runs through town to counter the police.
Without laws, society might break down entirely. Given no basic set of ordinances – the breaking of which may come with punitive action up to imprisonment or death – the worst of humankind might take over and ruin the quality of life for everyone else. But not all laws are necessary or even logical. Many laws are nonsensical, redundant, and cause more harm than they purport to deflect. With the city’s current police situation, they need all the help they can get. Reducing unnecessary, time-consuming duties such as enforcing bad laws will benefit them.
Here are 15 New Carlisle city ordinances that, for one reason or another, need to be eliminated immediately. Each ordinance is pulled directly from the Codified Ordinances of New Carlisle, Ohio. Ordinance numbers and exact text are provided.